tadcranky

January 8 Sports Illustrated in Review: Wrap-Ups, Previews and Pistol Pete
It's the first week of the NFL playoffs, and who would have thought that Jeff Garcia is on the cover. Insane. He's wearing some crazy-looking shoes, and it appears as if he has a sweatband around his left ankle. Don't tell Scott Skiles.

And on the inside:

Leading Off - Ohio State hoopster Mike Conley, Jr. shows the family athletic ability that made his father a champion triple-jumper by trying to fly over a guy from Florida, who probably regretted trying to take that charge. A montage of bowl game shots. A picture of Gerald Ford, who evidently played footbal before they had helmets, along with a nice tribute to him, by Richard Hoffer. I remember reading that when Ford first met Chevy Chase, he said, "Nice to meet you, you're a very funny suburb." I don't know why I remember that, I guess because I think it's pretty funny.

Letters - A guy from Beavercreek, Ohio, seems to think Tony Romo might be the next Tom Brady. Someone has a website called tigerwoodsisgod.com. Good way to drive traffic to his site, I guess.

Air and Space - Steve Rushin says Florida dominates sports. I guess. Then something about a "female jockstrap" that someone sent to his wife. I try not to think about that.

Scorecard - There's a double standard about steroids -- baseball people care about it, football people don't. I can't really figure this out either. I guess it's because baseball statistics and records somehow seem more sacred than football. Something like that. A column about Donnie Woods, the Maryland football player that plans to forego his last year of eligibility to become a soldier. He's 6'3", 289, and he has to lose 60 pounds to meet the Army's requirements. So if they had a draft, could you just pig out to get out of it? Bobby Knight sets the record, Mike Tyson gets busted, Darrent Wiliams gets shot, stuff we already know. Brett Hull's going to be the Charles Barkley of NHL announcing, which, apparently, means that there are going to be nationally televised hockey games again. I'm sure those'll go great. Carrie Underwood, American Idol, is the gratuitous babe shot. Eh. Chris Weber is better at hip hop than Ron Artest.

SI Players - Marques Colston seems like a good guy. Let's hope he doesn't get shot. The Sixers haven't scored 100 points in a game in a month. That's not so good. Gerald Green makes one of his irregular diary entries. He's averaged almost 16 points in his last five games. He was worried about being involved in a trade for Iverson, he's glad to be staying witht he Celtics. Nate Burleson has a special outfit for every opponent that the Seahawks play. Some folks just have too much money. Stanford has 7' twins playing basketball for them. Damn.

NFL Playoffs - Here they string a few articles related to the playoffs together. Despite being on the cover, there's really not too much about Jeff Garcia. SI thinks that the Eagles and the Jets are good underdogs. I hope the Jets never win a game, and I think this way because sometimes I end up listening to JT the Brick on his stupid XM Radio show. I heard him last week after the Jets beat the Dolphins, and he spent a half hour just calling the Dolphins names, not even clever ones -- Nick Satan, crap like that. It was about the worst sports radio I'd heard in a while, and that's saying something, since I'm in DC and listen to WTEM. They talk about Marvin Harrison, who is apparently publicity shy and definitely not too interesting. Although he is great. A Colts cheeerleader in the background of a photo of him has a nice smile. Paul Zimmerman gives us his All-Pro team. Drew Brees is his MVP, but Peyton Manning is his All-Pro quarterback, in a "Look at me, I'm controversial" pick, that nobody will even notice. His punter is Brian Moorman of the Bills, who I know nothing about, but when I was watching the Cowboys game, they just said that their punter had the best average in 43 years.

Next was have a Bowl Roundup. USC, especially Kyle Williams, would really like to have that UCLA game back. But he's read parts of The Inner Game of Tennis, and he's OK now. They wrap up the bowls, and gives bowl teams an up arrow or a down arrow, based on how the teams will look in 2007. Nifty. Colt Brennan is a beast. Then an article about Florida, Urban Meyer and Chris Leak. It seems like Urban Meyer, who's named after a pope (Pope Urban?), seems like the real deal, although it doesn't seem like he's real sure about TJ Joiner's name. Hey, just like Steve Spurrier, maybe that's a Florida thing.

Some NBA. AI likes it in Denver, although all that snow is pretty crazy. He's playing pretty well, but the team isn't. That sounds familiar. Other coaches fear J.R. Smith, although he's also considered an "unwilling defender." That's funny.

Wisconsin's Alando Tucker, he's the guy with the mask during last year's NCAA playoffs, is a great guy, in addition to being a great player. He wants to build recreation centers for poor people. Wisconsin plays Ohio State on Tuesday, should be good.

A short article (one page picture, and one page text, there's several of these this issue) on new Blackhawks coach Dennis Savard. He was an improvisitional player, he's all business as a coach, and so far it's working.

The highlight of this issue is without a doubt an excerpt from Mark Kriegel's forthcoming book on Pete Maravich, Pistol: The Life of Pete Maravich. All kinds of great stories here, and I'll definitely read to the book. I remember when Maravich used to do those commercials for some kind of hair product, and he was spinning a ball all around him, and his hair remained perfect. He was cool. Read the book.

Rick Reilly does a column about Carmelo Anthony, the point of which I think I miss. I guess that poor Carmelo's confused. He's suspended, his team just got AI, he's misunderstood, whatever. He's a moron.

Overall Grade- Nothing particularly interesting, except for the Maravich excerpt, which is kind of cheating, since it's an excerpt from a book. Overall Grade - C.