Monday, March 16, 2009

Me and the Dancing Prilosec Woman
I watched a lot of college basketball and World Baseball Classic on TV this weekend. Damn that Felipe Lopez.

Evidently, Prilosec is a big sponsor of sports on TV, because I feel like I saw this commercial during every break.

What the hell? I acknowledge criticism of commercials is about the lowest form of humor, but I can't get this out of my head. So I'll take a shot at it, Larry King USA Today column stream-of-consciousness style:

What kind of club is this, anyway?...This is how white people dance when there's no music...Wow, huge hair flip by that woman in the back who looks like she needs a stripper pole...I guess she's dancing like nobody's watching...I sure wish I wasn't...But I can't turn away...This is a joke, right?...Elaine from Seinfeld...She's so happy because now -- thanks to Prilosec -- she can drink at a club without suffering excruciating heartburn...I recommend tequila shots...Katie's no kid, she's gotta be pushing 40, who goes to a club and dances like that at that age?...So the one guy looks like he might get lucky tonight...The finger point, I am speechless...She's gotta be on more than Prilosec...Maybe somebody dosed her white zinfandel...I suspect the stripper chick...So, umm, Brian, how's the book coming along?...Now that she's on Prilosec, she can go to IHOP after the clubs close and eat a corned beef hash omlette and pancakes...Get Katie on Dancing with the Stars.

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